Average Joe
by Little Hairy Eyeball
Summary: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends
1. Chapter One

TITLE: "**Average Joe**" Part 1  
AUTHOR: Elise D.   
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.   
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends.   
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie?   
RATING: PG-13.   
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples. 

---

"Are you sure about this?" Xander asked, helping Spike load the last of his bags into the car. 

"Not really, but I've got nothing to lose at this point," Spike replied with a shrug. "We might get reinforcements out of the deal, and hey, I'm sure the idea that I got a soul should piss him off good and proper. I can't lose for winning." 

"Unless of course, he just stakes you on sight," noted Xander dryly. 

"Oh, well there is that, but he's old and I'll be on me toes the entire time. It'll be a kick." 

"Yeah, kick the Spike," muttered Xander as he walked back into the house shaking his head. 

Buffy had been watching from the porch with interest. Not just at the buddy-buddy scene between her best friend and the vampire, but also the fact Spike seemed so damn nervous about leaving to see Angel, of all people. 

"Yanno, you don't have to go. We have this technology called the telephone, so if things get hairy, we don't need to take as long to contact people. It's wacky but true." She said, folding her arms over her chest as she stood next to him. 

Spike just shrugged his shoulders, and began re-arranging the bags in his back seat. 

"It's no big thing, Slayer. I need to get the hell out of the house for a while. I'll be out of the First's grasp, have myself a nice break from the teenager hormones here, and I can annoy the hell out of Angelus. Sounds like a bloody good vacation, by all accounts." 

"Sure. If you think for an instant he'd listen to you." 

"Oh he will. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve that'll get his undivided attention," he said, smiling to himself. 

"Those methods wouldn't include hired torturers and hot pokers, would they?" 

"Ah, heard about that then, did you?" said Spike sheepishly. "No, just run of the mill revelations to knock him on his bum for a few. Honestly, it'll be fine." 

Buffy sighed. She knew there was no point in trying to convince Spike this was a bad idea, so the hell with it. They could use the help, and she really didn't want to be the one asking Angel. Dirty tactics to get other people to do her bidding, but she didn't technically ask, so she wasn't going to get all guilt-ridden over it. 

"You packed blood?" she asked, peering into the rear seats. 

"Yep, a whole cooler full, courtesy of Dawn. I'm all set, actually." 

"Oh, okay. Good then. Just as long as you've got everything you need." 

"Well...actually, there is one more thing I need, if I could ask a tiny favor of you." 

Buffy stared at him with a skeptical look on her face. 

"Don't push it buster, no good luck kisses or gropes." She said, causing Spike to laugh. 

"Actually, I was going to ask that Red maybe give the lovely Cordelia a heads up. Not telling the poof of course, I can't spoil all my fun. It would be nice to have a back-up though." 

"Oh. Umm, ha, of course. I'll do it in a sec, don't worry," said Buffy, her face reddening slightly at the stupidity of her statement. 

"But now that you mention it, a little good luck hug wouldn't go down too badly at all," Spike said, jokingly. 

Buffy stared at him for a second, a small smile playing along her mouth before she decided to heck with it, and wrapped him in a tight embrace. 

"Just be careful, okay? We need you here, and we're pretty much used to having you around," she said as she released the surprised vampire. 

"Erm, okay. Yes, I'll be careful, don't worry, and I'll be back with the cavalry in no time," Spike said, before getting into the passenger seat, and winding the window down. 

"Don't miss me too much!" he hollered through the window, as the cab pulled away, leaving a bemused Buffy shaking her head at the curb. 

---

Pulling alongside the Hyperion, Spike had a sudden panicked change of heart. The bastard would stake him as soon as he set eyes on him; this was insanity. Especially now that he's covered in Buffy smell…By George, he thinks he's got it. Just enough ammo to infuriate the wanker, and then he'll fess up about the soul, and piss him off enough to drop his guard. Not that he'd hit him or anything, just strategically place himself out of harm's way. Or stakes way, really. Okay.

Spike smirked to himself as his plan came together, this was going to be a good time. 

---

Spike strolled into the deserted lobby, and felt kind of deflated. Well, if no one was around, how could he make an entrance? Typical. Just as he was about to turn tail and call for another cab when a mousy girl came scurrying out of an office. 

"Umm, hi! Can I help you?" she asked, full of pep and goodness. A year ago it would of made him cringe, but now? God help him, he actually smiled. 

"Hello cutie. I'm here to see an old friend of mine, got a business proposition. Angel about?" Spike said, peering to the stairs and balconies above. 

"Oh! Oh, a friend of Angel's! Well hi! I'm Fred," she gushed. 

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance love," he said. "The name's Spike." 

That was the wrong move, obviously. The color drained from her face, as she backed up towards the counter. 

"Charles, could you come out here for a second please," she called, her whole body tensed for attack. 

"Yeah, what's up?" asked Gunn, shuffling out of the office. 

"There's a friend of Angel's here to see him. Says his name is _Spike_," she said, gesturing with her head to the vampire. Oh dear. The emphasis she put on his name was a clear indication that someone had been telling tales, and apparently not Willow. God, he could strangle Buffy for forgetting to pass on the message. Typical. 

In the blink of an eye, Gunn had a loaded crossbow aimed at Spike, causing the vampire to arch an impressed eyebrow at the boy's speed. Good to see Angel was running with a strong team. They were going to need it back in Sunnyhell. 

"I've heard of you," said Gunn, staring coldly at his target. "Some sort of big bad, with a taste for blood and a cocky attitude. Yeah, heard _all_ about you." 

Cocky didn't begin to describe it, thought Gunn. Spike simply smiled at the panicked crew, and made himself comfy on the couch in the lobby, his legs stretched out before him, as if he didn't have a care in the world. 

Gunn kept the crossbow leveled at Spike's chest, while Fred looked around nervously for some form of divine intervention. And look, here he comes now, all pompous and constipated-looking. This should be a hoot, thought Spike.

"It's okay, Gunn. Spike here is what we like to call "impotent" thanks to the government sticking a chip in his brain. He can't hurt any living thing," said Angel with a sneer. 

Gunn mulled it over. Kinda brilliant, which was unusual for the government. Then again this was in Sunnydale, where he gathered a lot of unconventional stuff went down. He lowered the crossbow as Angel approached, while Spike just smiled smugly. 

"See, that's the thing. Damn shoddy American technology. It has this habit of dying on a bloke. Long story short, haven't got the thing any more," he informed the group as he folded his hands behind his head with a triumphant smile. 

Quick as a shot, the crossbow was back up, and Angel was advancing. Okay, this was getting too close for comfort. Well, so much for the smartass approach. 

"Now then, hold yer horses! It gets better, it does. Something better than the chip, I swear," he managed to get out before Angel hauled him out of the chair by his collar. 

"There's nothing you could tell me now that would help you," spat Angel, taking a deep breath. "You reek of Buffy, and you just announced you don't have a leash. What could I possibly hear that would stop me from staking you? Huh? HUH?" Angel asked, as he shook the delinquent vampire by his scruff. 

"Got..got..a…got a…" Spike managed to squeak out. 

"Soul! That boy's got soul, _a_ soul actually" announced Lorne, making his way down the stairs. "It's practically screaming in its pain and torment. It's…." 

"A lie!" growled Angel, tightening his hold on Spike's neck. 

"No, I was going to say it's poetic, actually, I can see it from here. It's glowing…effulgent," stated Lorne, causing Angel to drop Spike with shock.


	2. Chapter Two

TITLE: "**Average Joe**" Part 2  
AUTHOR: Elise D.   
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.   
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends.   
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie? Zero spoilers for Ats. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, that wacky stuff ain't even happening. So the details are so vague, they're almost new.  
RATING: PG-13.   
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.   
THANKS: Much love for the wonderful people who have left kind words about this fic. I'll try not to disappoint you :)

--- 

"_Nooooooo_! DON'T KILL HIM!" came the desperate scream from upstairs. Within seconds, Cordy came running into view, skidding to a halt between the two vampires.

"Well, hello Cordelia. It's lovely to see you again," said Spike gruffly, rubbing his neck.

"Sorry," said Cordy with a cringe. "I didn't think you'd make such good time! Didn't realize you were here yet! Oops!" she said with a nervous laugh.

"Oh well, no harm no foul, yeah? Pops didn't _actually_ kill me, so I'd say things went better than they could," he assured her with a small smile, which she gratefully returned.

Angel stared wide-eyed at Spike with a mixture of confusion and anger, before turning around to confront Lorne.

"A soul? Spike? _Spike_ has a soul?" he asked incredulously, his confusion evident as he looked from the vampire on the floor, to the demon leaning on the banister. "This can't be…it _can't_ be right."

"Oh, it's as true as I am green, that boy had his soul stuffed in him." Lorne tilted his head quizzically at the blonde vampire, "and a pretty traumatic ordeal, by all accounts. Kudos to you, my friend," he said with a nod.

"Umm, thanks, I think? No offence, "friend" but who the hell are you, and how do you know so much?"

"Well, I can read people for one thing, and I'll be honest, I heard Cordy when she was humming in her room, and I knew she had things to do."

"Yes, she did have a _bit_ of an important job tonight," said Spike, sending a withering glare in the former cheerleaders direction.

Cordy simply rolled her eyes, and joined Gunn and Fred behind the counter.

"So, that's _the_ William the Bloody?" whispered Fred. "I expected him to be more scary and…well, less charming, actually," she said with a nervous giggle.

"Oh yeah, that's our Spike," replied Cordy. "Ever the gentleman, even when he's stalking Slayers, or trying to kill you and _torture your boss_!" She said the last part loud enough to get the vampires attention, and he mirrored the withering smile she had given him a moment before.

"That's all water under the bridge, princess. I'm a good guy now. Besides, I hear that a certain rogue Slayer did pretty much the same thing once upon a time, yeah? So let's leave it alone, shall we? It's in the past, and now I come in peace." He looked around the room. "Yeah, well that would have gone better, but you seem to be missing a resident nerd. I thought all good groups of justice and light had one."

Fred meekly raised her hand.

"I think I'm the nerd here. But bein' stuck in a hell dimension for a few years, I kinda forgot a lot of the basics, what with the going insane and all," she admitted.

"Aww, pet. That's a terrible shame. But you're back now, aren't ya? Nice and safe in the land of freedom," Spike replied with a beaming smile, causing the young girl to blush and avert her eyes.

Gunn however, was not as impressed.

"So? What's the deal then? Why the hell have you just shown up here, risking your ass being staked?" he asked. "I don't see this being just a social visit, and you told Fred you had business. We do that, so what's going on?"

"Ahh, yes. Well, let me recover from my little…welcoming hug, and I'll fill you in, shall I?" Said Spike gleefully, rubbing his hands together.

--- 

"The First Evil," sighed Angel, rubbing his eyes. "I didn't think I'd here from that again." The news that Angel had dealt with the pain in his ass before caused Spike to tilt his head in confusion. "It's a long story," he said with a shake of his head.

"The First tried getting Angel to kill Buffy, he tried to commit suicide via sunshine, but the Powers that Be made it snow to save him," said Cordy with a bored shrug.

"Okay, not that long of a story," conceded Angel.

"Well, it sounds like we both faired as well as each other. Nothing like a serious morphing mind job to make a bloke want to greet the sunrise," said Spike with a smile.

Angel simply nodded in agreement. He was surprised that Spike had survived the torment of such great evil but then again, this _was_ Spike. A vampire who never gave up if he didn't want to. He had to respect that. Hell, it sounded like Spike might have endured the trials a little better than Angel had, but he'd be dammed if he'd give Spike the satisfaction of knowing it. If the First Evil was trying something in Sunnydale, they needed to help. For Buffy's sake…for everyone.

"It sure seems to have an affinity for souled vampires, huh?" joked Fred, causing the two vampires to look at each other.

"Yeah, I suppose it does at that, eh?" replied Spike smiling, while Angel just scowled. "Oh what's the matter now? Christ, so you're not as special as you were last year…get over it. S'not like I did it just to piss you off."

"Yeah, but it must have been a consideration," replied Angel, narrowing his eyes intently, with a morbid fascination over Spike's new condition.

"No," scoffed the blonde. "The only reason I did it, was so…ahhhh," Spike lifted his head with the sudden realization of what Angel was trying to do. "Nice try old man, but it's private."

Angel shook his head with a laugh, okay, he was busted.

"Fine. Just tell me this then; why the smell of Buffy's perfume all over you?"

"It's not her perfume, you plonker. It's her body lotion, and…crap. You got me, didn't you?"

Angel simply nodded, while Cordy's eyes bugged out.

"You? You and Buffy? Buffy? With a vampire? Again? With a soul? Again???" she babbled.

"No. There has been no slap and tickle for super-souled Spike, don't worry. It was just a good luck hug for me travels, that's all," Spike said, choosing to avoid spilling too many details from the past year. What Angel didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. Or Spike, and that was just dandy. Plus, he was pretty sure the Slayer would kick his ass for any kiss and tell details, no matter how out-dated. Nah, he'd let the whelp spill those beans, when the time was right and he had Slayer protection. "We're just friends; partners in the fight against darkness. Noble warriors in the never-ending war against evil…"

"Oh shut _up_," moaned Angel. "You just can't answer with a simple yes or no, can you?"

"I could if I wanted to, I simply choose to express myself in a deeper manner," Spike replied with a cheeky grin, causing Angel to roll his eyes.

"You never change."

"Oh, but I do, don't I? Got the shiny William interior to prove it."

--- 

The gang were in the lobby, packing up what Spike admitted was a choice weapons collection, when a thought hit him.

"Hey…isn't someone missing? A Watchery type, all stick up his bum and bad ideas? We've already got one, but I think a matching pair might come in handy, don't you?"

Angel pointedly ignored the comment and forcibly stuffed an oversized axe in the duffle, while Lorne visibly flinched at the mention of Wesley.

"Okay, someone better tell me what the hell is going on, we don't need any surprises considering what we're about to get into back at Sunnydale," Spike said, frowning.

Cordy sighed, and turned to face him, hand on hips.

"Angel had a son with Darla – don't ask," she said, listing off the details on her fingers. "Wes kidnapped the kid, and he was taken to a hell dimension by an old enemy of Angel's – again, don't ask. Kid came back a few weeks later with 16 years under his belt and a chip on his shoulder. Angel didn't take any of this very well, especially when his own son then dumped him at the bottom of the ocean for a few months. Wes hasn't done well either. He's now hanging out with an Evil lawyer ho and being kinda cold with us, even though he was the one that went out and saved Angel. And Steve…_Connor_ just shows up when he feels like it. He's not really comfortable here." She paused, going over her news, when her face brightened. "OH! And I was a higher being for a while, but I'm back now."

Spike just stood there for a moment, digesting everything he'd heard. A kid. Okay, that one was definitely a shock, and he was pretty sure Buffy would flip her lid at the news, especially considering the circumstances. He knew Darla had been brought back, thanks to Dru's visitation a couple of summers ago, but knocked up? That was definitely something for the family newsletter. Now was not the time for gossip, however, and he needed a watcher, not a genealogy lesson.

"So, this Watcher then? Wes? Where can I find him?" Spike finally asked, scanning the faces in the room, expectantly.

Angel sighed and put down his weapons.

"You can't. He won't want to help, and you really don't need the kind of aid he's offering. Trust me on this one, he won't be interested in what you've got to say."

"Oh really," replied the haggard looking watcher from the doorway, "Well, I'm pretty sure if Spike's information matches my own, I'd be very interested indeed." 


	3. Chapter Three

TITLE: "**Average Joe**" Part 3  
AUTHOR: Elise D.   
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.   
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends.   
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie?  
RATING: PG-13.   
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.  
NOTES: Thanks for all the lovely feedback, everyone. You keep me encouraged :) 

---

Spike and Wesley had gone into the office over an hour ago, and Angel was starting to get ticked. There was a big battle brewing in Sunnydale, couldn't they compare notes on the way? He was itching to hit the road. 

Cordy just sat in the lobby, watching her friend pace, and occasionally shoot angry glares at the office door. God, she was _bored_. 

Both of them jumped at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and turned to see Connor approaching. 

"Just once, could ya try using the door?" asked Angel wryly, which Connor pointedly ignored, instead making his way over to Cordelia. 

"What's going on?" he asked, nodding towards the bags piled at the entrance. 

"Big evil going down in Sunnydale, one of your relatives came down to break the news, so we're heading out to lend a hand," she replied with a shrug. 

Connor's brow furrowed at the news. 

"Am I needed? And what relative? How can I have family when my parents are dead?" 

Angel sighed. This was going to be an absolute picnic, wasn't it? Thank you Cordelia. 

"His name is Spike, and before you ask, he's a vampire. I made Drusilla, who made him. Don't listen to Cordy, he's not family…just an eternal pain in my ass." 

"A vampire? Here?" asked Connor, his whole body tensing at the prospect of battle. 

"Oh relax. Vampire with a soul, one of the good guys. He's talking to Wes right now, so don't go freaking out," said Cordy, as she stretched her legs. "They're going to be in there for hours, aren't they? I may as well go back upstairs and pack the things I actually consider important." 

---

"Never been one for prophecies myself, always seem to get screwed up somewhere in the translation…but I guess you've learnt that lesson now," said Spike as he poured himself another drink. 

"Yes, quite right," replied Wes, scratching at the scarred reminder of his actions. "I suppose I have. Anyways, I don't have any clippings that would indicate any obvious signs of the First attempting anything here, so in a way I'd say that was a good sign, wouldn't you?" 

"Oh, just peachy," said Spike, "if it wasn't for the implied confirmation that it's concentrating on the Slayer and good ole Sunny D. That does nothing to ease my fears over it, especially when it's got "plans" for me." 

"Hmm, that does pose somewhat of a problem, I'll admit, but I'm sure if we pool our resources, we could come up with some form of protection for you. After all, there will be a wealth of knowledge available, what more could we need?" 

"Well, that's the thing," said Spike, leaning forward in his chair. "I've got this idea, but I thought maybe you'd be a little more receptive than Angelus…" Spike trailed off, causing Wesley's eyebrow to quirk in interest. 

---

"Finally!" cried Angel, raising his hands to the sky. "I thought you two were never coming out! We've got to go, it's going to be hard enough traveling during the day, and I think we've wasted enough time." 

"Actually, Spike and I have another matter to attend to. It shouldn't take long, a couple of hours at the most. By then the sun will be setting, and we can transport the both of you in complete safety," said Wesley, shrugging on his jacket and joining Spike by the hotel's entrance. 

"But…" 

"Oh now, grandpa, there'll be plenty of time for buts later, but we've got to head out," interrupted spike with a smirk. 

"MY father has voiced an objection, you shouldn't ignore it," said Connor standing in front of the blonde vampire. 

"Oh my! What do we have here?" asked Spike as he looked the teenager over. "Self-righteous attitude, permanent sneer, slightly over-sized forehead…this has got to be the infamous Connor then, hasn't it." Connor simply glared, causing Spike to shake his head in amusement. "And he's got his mother's patience I see." He laughed. 

Any anger on the boy's face was quickly replaced with a look of sorrow, and then a cold mask of indifference. 

"You knew my mother," he stated, although it came out more as a question. 

"Happens I did," said Spike softly. Wesley had filled him in, so he knew what it might mean to the kid. "Maybe we can sit down some time, and I'll tell you all about her, eh?" he asked. 

"I don't think…" began Connor, only to be interrupted by Spike. 

"The thing is, I don't know if I've got any stories that don't make your old man out to be a completely useless tosser…so you'll have to make do with those details, I'm afraid." 

Connor raised his chin and nodded. That was good. He might be able to get through to the kid easier, being an outsider and all. Make things a little easier around the home front. God, this goodness and light routine was really starting to irritate the hell out of him. Helping Angel bond with his son. What next? Giving Xander tips on making up with Anya? Bloody hell. 

"Right. Well Spike, we better be heading out," Wesley noted, looking at his watch. Spike nodded, and was halfway out the door when he heard Angel speak. 

"Where are you going, anyway?" 

"Gonna see a screw about a slayer," Spike said with a grin, before the door shut behind him. 

---

Spike shifted in his seat under the scrutiny, while Wesley rubbed at his tired eyes. 

"Faith, please," the watcher said to the woman on the other side of the glass, "just listen to us for a minute?" 

"Listen to what? A member of the watcher's council who have done hell of a lot to make me _not_ trust them, and a vampire? God Wes, I can't believe you brought him here!" Faith scoffed into the telephone. 

"Spike isn't any threat, he has a…" 

"Chip in his head, yeah, I know," Faith interrupted with a dismissing wave of her hand. 

"Oi!" said the surprised Spike, sitting up, "How the hell do you know about my chip? Which I no longer have, by the way." 

Faith gestured at Spike's mention of the chip, to Wesley, who simply shook his head in confusion. 

"I was going to say he had a soul, Faith. But I must admit, I am curious as to how you know about Spike's chip." 

Faith laughed, grinning directly at the vampire, causing him to shrink back. The chick was scaring him, and not in the good way. 

"Oh, me and Spike here go way back," she said with a smirk, as if it explained everything. 

"No love, I'm pretty sure I'd remember you, and I don't. So start talking." 

"Okay," said the Slayer with a shrug of her shoulders. "I was in Sunnydale a couple of years ago, messing with Buffy?" At Spike's nod, she continued. "Met up with you at The Bronze. Only, I wasn't wearing prison orange, as much as I was wearing…well, Buffy really." When she saw the puzzled look on Spike's face, she only laughed harder. 

"Okay babe, how about I simple this up for you? I coulda rode you at a gallop…I've got muscles you've never dreamed of…I coulda squeezed you like…" 

"Warm champagne," supplied Spike, wearing a mixture of shock and horror on his face. 

"Got it in one, Billy," said Faith, scrunching up her nose. "Okay, yanno what? Between the kicked puppy look that he's wearing, and the fact you look like shit, Wes, I'm gonna hear you out. So make it quick. Visiting hours are up in a sec, and I just gotta know how I ended up with you two as a couple." 

---

By the time Wesley and Spike had finished explaining the current events to Faith, she was so close to the glass, her breath was starting to fog up the partition. 

"Wow," was all she managed to get out. 

"Yeah, wow pretty much sums it up. So I'm thinking an extra Slayer might be sort of handy, if only to keep the potentials in line. You're needed Faith, this is it. The big battle, and I know you're the kind of girl who wouldn't want to turn down a fight like that," said Spike, confident that she'd jump at the chance to join them. 

"Yeah, well, that was the old me. The new me is paying for her crimes, and just can't skip out on her sentence. Plus, Buffy? You haven't filled her in on this part of your plan, have you?" At the shake of Spike's head, Faith snorted. "Well, trust me on this one, she won't want my help. So go on, take your watcher and go save the world. Let me sit out the rest of my time." 

Spike studied the girl in front of him, noticing her body language and the way she was chewing on her lip. 

"You're scared. That's it, innit?" he asked. 

"Hey! No! I'm not scared, _trust_ me. I just know my place, and it sure as hell ain't with Buffy." 

"Really? You don't think that a battle that could very well be the end of days might not need you? That your entire future may rest on fighting alongside your sister Slayers?" Wesley asked. There was no malice in his voice, just simple interest in her quick attitude change. 

"She needs you," Spike pointed out gently. "They all need you. You have a chance to do real good here, not just a little time to make yourself feel better. Buffy needs you, all the Scoobies need you, and Angel needs you. You're a Slayer, and you know that means something. She'll die if she doesn't have everyone fighting with her, she'll die." He trailed off, his brow furrowing in pain, as he looked away. 

"Oh my God, _another_ one? What is it with B and vampires with souls? Is it like a genetic defect with her or something? I can' t believe there's two of you out there, and your _both_ mooning over her," Faith exclaimed, before slouching back in her seat. 

"Oh, look at Miss Folds-Her-Arms over there! Now I get all this history between you, you're jealous sick of her, aren't you?" Spike scoffed. "You called her a tight-ass with no sense of fun, and it kills you, doesn't it? You're jealous of what she's got, and what? You're willing to see the world end, just so her life does? Oh, I know her life seems like a bloody cakewalk from the outside, I've been there. But I've also seen inside. The girl lost her mum, lost her life, lost everything that mattered, and she still fights. She fights for people like you; you included seeing as how you're a target. She'll _die_ to protect you, and you still won't give an inch, will you?" said the infuriated vampire, pushing his chair away from the glass. He was mad. He needed to get the troops gathered and back to his girl, and this young thing was having a pout. Slayers! It must be ingrained to be this damn stubborn. 

"That's not true," came the quiet response from Faith. Spike looked up, to see her hair falling down in front of her bowed head. 

"No? Then why don't you tell me what is, yeah," asked Spike quietly. 

"I love her. She and Angel were the only one's who believed in me. She trusted me, relied on me, and I let her down again and again. She can't afford to have me let her down. She can't afford to have me there, screwing things up." 

"She can't afford _not_ to have you there, Faith. She needs you," Spike said, causing Faith to jerk her head up. 

Faith took a deep breath, calming herself before she made the biggest decision of her life. 

"Step away from the glass" 


	4. Chapter Four

TITLE: "**Average Joe**" Part 4  
AUTHOR: Elise D.   
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.   
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends. This chapter is just a brief interlude with Buffy. Back to Good ole Sunnydale we go!  
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie? Zero spoilers for Ats. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, that wacky stuff ain't even happening. So the details are so vague, they're almost new.  
RATING: PG-13.   
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.  
NOTES: Thanks for all the great feedback, everyone! I came home after a weekend away, and I've still got an awful lot of mail to catch up on. Ya'll made me smile on a Monday morning. 

---

They were in the home stretch now, and the nervousness was beginning to show. Spike risked a peek through the rear-view, and caught a glimpse of Angel glaring at the blonde vampire's non-existent reflection. Oh, goody. Faith was nervously tapping on her thigh, like some kind of Morse code to the Powers That Be. _Get me out of this mess. Stop_. Cordelia just let out an occasional sigh as she watched the world pass her by, her forehead leaning against the glass as if she might miraculously pop through the pain and back to freedom. Great bunch of bloody heaven-sent champions, they were. 

"Faith, stop that, it's irritating." 

"Well, stop brooding. I need something to distract me from your moody ass." 

"Oh guys, will you just be quiet." 

"Oh right, Little Miss Queen of Sighs." 

"Faith, don't be so rude to Cordelia, she's right." 

"Oh, back her up, why don't you. You know it's bugging you too." 

"Don't try defending me, Angel. I don't need your help against that skank." 

"Hey! Who are _you_ calling a skank, you…?" 

"SHUT _UP_! I swear to God, I will turn this car around right now, and you can all ride with Wes, if you're going to keep this up. Sweet, buggaring Jesus, be bloody _quiet_!" cried Spike. Christ, it was like car-pooling a bunch of kids around. Warriors for the Powers that Be? He feared for the world's safety, he _really_ did. 

"Are we there yet?" asked Faith with a huff, as she folded her arms over her chest. 

"Are you trying to wind me up?" 

"Dude, _seriously_, how much longer? I need to pee like…" 

"Soon, alright? Just stick a cork in it, and let me concentrate on the road." 

Angel snorted. Oh right, of course he wouldn't let that one slide. Well, two could play at that game, thought Spike. 

"Something funny there, peaches?" he asked, as he swiveled around in the chair to face the elder vampire. 

"The road…eyes on the road…turn around…the road," babbled Angel, his frantic eyes flitting between Spike and the view through the windshield. 

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a knot," sighed Spike as he returned to the more acceptable forward position. "I hate nothing more than backseat drivers. Stop nagging me like my bloody mother, and there'll be no need for upset. Okay?" He asked, while Cordelia bit her lip to prevent the giggles she was suppressing. 

God, this was going to be the longest six miles of his life. 

---

"Spike? Why the hell are we driving down Main? It would have been much quicker if we'd headed onto Birchmount and swung right onto Revello," asked Angel, craning his neck to see what their destination could possibly be. 

"Tradition, Granddad. I'm not letting you ruin a perfectly good routine, just because of your morals and annoying enthusiasm to see Bu…The Slayer. Won't take but a minute," Spike assured, before aiming right for the latest _Welcome to Sunnydale_ Sign. 

"Spike? Um, Spike? You might wanna turn…" 

Smack! Goodbye perky bloody greeting. Hello Hellmouth, and untold horrors. 

"Or not," muttered Angel, squeezing himself as far into the corner of the backseat as possible. 

Spike just snickered and turned onto Revello Drive. It's show time. 

---

Spike stayed rooted in the drivers seat, as each of the arrivals was greeted, and Angel and Cordelia bickered over who was carrying what. Thank God it was over. If he was lucky, he could sneak off for a drink or twelve and kip down with Clem for the night. 

The sound of the passenger door opening surprised Spike slightly, but not as much as the sight of Buffy climbing in to sit next to him. 

"You're back, and in one piece," she observed. 

"Well yeah. Told you it wasn't going to be a big deal or anything. Could use a bloody break though. Think I'm gonna head out for the night. I'll keep my eyes peeled for anything shady lookin'" 

Buffy raised her eyebrows slightly at Spike's brush off. 

"No big deal? Wow. That's surprising, especially considering the tale Wes just told me. I guess he just embellished a bit, huh? Watcher's prerogative and all, making mountains out of molehills." 

"Yeah, that'll be it," agreed Spike, nervously shifting in his seat. 

"Oh, whatever," said Buffy with a snort. "So you _didn't_ almost get staked by Angel? Or this miracle child of his?" 

"Oh, you heard about him, did you? You're taking it surprisingly well, I've got to say." 

"Eh, Hellmouth immunity I guess," she replied with a shrug. "I'm surprised I didn't freak a little more, myself. Vampires having kids: it's just weird, but no doubt prophesied somewhere. I'm already over it." 

"Even though you've learnt that it's possible for vampire's to reproduce, albeit under extreme circumstances?" Spike asked, turning in his seat to face her. 

Buffy looked at him for a second, searching his face for any signs of fear or worry. Not a thing. Cool as a cucumber as usual. Damn him. 

"Well, I think the timeline indicates I'm pretty safe, if that's what you're worrying," she said with a smile. 

"Actually, no," replied Spike, as his eyes dropped briefly to Buffy's ever-flat stomach. "Not that at all. I was more worried what you thought about the fact it could have been you, not Darla, making babies with the Grand Wanker." 

Buffy frowned, and Spike shifted uncomfortably. Three whole minutes before he screwed up, dammit. 

"Ugh, making worldly-important babies with my ex-boyfriend? The one I sent to hell that time? No thanks. I'm having enough trouble raising Dawn, Connor acts like he'd just send me _right_ over the edge. I consider myself very lucky, actually," she said. And she was smiling again. What the hell? 

"Buffy?" Spike asked, cautiously. 

"Yup?" 

Spike stared at the face of the woman he loved. Nope, not the bot. 

"Nothing, I'm just feeling a little…" 

"Discombobulated? Yeah, Angel can do that to ya, although I guess you already knew that." 

"Are you feeling alright, Slayer? You're acting weird, yanno?" 

"Oh," she said, as her face fell and the frown returned. "Is that a bad thing? 

"No, no, that's not what I meant," he rushed out. "S'just, I'm not used to it being directed at me, is all. It's nice…to see you happy." 

"I am," she said with a nod of her head. "Got a great team inside, who'll figure out this First thing, and keep the world safe. I've got a houseful of people I love, and a bunch of Slayerettes I'm really trying not to kill. All in all? I'm pretty damn happy. I just thought you'd be happy too." 

"Oh, I am, don't worry. Just a little on edge is all. Things aren't over yet. Big threat still looming, and Angel inside waiting for me to slip up and give him an excuse to end my unlife. Kinda nervous about the next few days." 

"Yeah, me too. Why do you think I'm out here? Thirty seconds, he's through the door. Thirty seconds, and he's already looking at me with nothing but disappointment," sighed Buffy, as she began absently playing with the edge of the door. 

"Why? I haven't told him anything about…_anything_, really. Can't see why he's ticked off with you." 

"Oh, that's his standard look for me, these days," she said with a dismissing wave of her hand. "Poor Buffy, not getting that normal life I sacrificed everything for. It's getting _so_ damn old. He needs to loosen up. God, I can't believe I'm saying that." 

"Well, if the vibe I'm getting is right, the cheerleader is trying damn hard to help him get over it," he said with a smirk. 

"Cordy? Oh God, that's too rich!" she said with a giggle. "I'm sure she'll wear him down. Still won't stop the looks he's giving me, though. I swear…if he only knew how far from normal my life is…" 

"He's stake me?" supplied Spike with a smile. 

"Yep, and Willow for bringing me back, and Xander for letting it happen, and Giles for going to England. Everyone but himself." 

"You're not normal, Slayer." 

"Well, thanks bunches, Spike! That's so sweet," Buffy said with a mock scowl. 

"S'not what I meant, and you know it. You're not normal, your life isn't normal, and the prat should have known that, and never left." 

"Nah," she said, leaning back into the seat. "It would never have worked. One of those "wasn't meant to be" deals. It's better this way." 

They sat in silence for a while. Comfortable silence, Spike noted. One for the books, he was sure. But she wasn't leaving, and he wanted to. What to do, what to do? 

"So, everything cozy with Faith then?" 

Buffy's eyes narrowed. Bingo. He thought there still might be some tension left between them. Get her pissed, get her gone, he thought. Suffer the consequences later, after some liquid courage. 

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she asked, causing Spike to launch into a blustered routine of hand mimes. 

"What? No! Perfectly innocent question, just wanted to know where the land lay with you. Don't want to be getting caught in the middle of a Slayer war. Can't imagine it's good for a bloke's health, yeah?" 

Buffy shook her head and laughed. 

"No, I doubt it would be. But me and Faith are cool. As cool as we can be, I mean. We'll be fine to get between, honest. Not that you'd be getting between us much, there'll be distance between us." 

"Well, good. It's good to know. That's…" 

"Good?" asked Buffy with a smirk of her own. "So. Where are we going?" she asked. 

"I'm going out, you're going back inside to play musical bloody bedrooms again, and help get everyone back to speed. So, come on now. Off with you." 

"Fine," Buffy sighed, as she opened the door and began to climb out. Spike waited for the slam, but instead found Buffy leaning down, simply looking at him. 

"What?" he asked. 

"Oh, nothing. Just glad you're back is all," she said with a quick smile, before she slammed the door and marched back into Slayer headquarters. 

"Glad to be back, Buffy. Glad to be back," Spike muttered, before he pulled away. 


	5. Chapter Five

TITLE: "**Average Joe**" Part 5  
AUTHOR: Elise D.   
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.   
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends.   
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie? Zero spoilers for Ats. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, that wacky stuff ain't even happening. So the details are so vague, they're almost new.  
RATING: PG-13.   
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.  
NOTES: Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback for the last chapter. Spoiler news and current episodes leave me kinda bummed, but I'll keep on truckin' down the highway of Spike - no matter where it takes me. 

---

"We've come up with a handful of barrier spells, containment spells, and little tricks, but so far, no big gun. Sorry," said Willow, as she went over her notes from the storming session she'd had earlier with Wes, Lorne and Fred. 

"We could have come up with more, but this whole non-corporeal thing is really causing a problem," confirmed Fred. 

Buffy smiled at the apologetic strange girl, and took a cleansing breath. God, this was hard. Where was the miracle? There was always something that solved the problems. Ten bucks says it was something simple, like Slayer lint. Stuck in her dryer the whole time, right under our noses! Oh, she needed a break from the brainwork; she was getting slaphappy and starting to sound like Andrew. 

"Well, can you think of some way of giving the First form? I mean, you did it with the demon that was trying to kill me last year, would that work?" she asked. 

"I wish it would, but no," said Willow with a frown. "The First is so much more powerful, we're dealing with a completely different entity on this one. I might be able to work with it though; it could come in useful for something. Even if it's not long term, or a complete transformation…we'll work on it, right?" rambled the witch, as Lorne gave a nod, and Fred scribbled down notes for later use. 

"That's good. That's stuff we can use. We're running out of time now. Things have been too quiet, and I don't like it. Wes? Giles? Anything?" she asked, turning to face the Watchers, who were sitting at the table with Andrew and Dawn. 

"Well, we've compared notes, but unfortunately there really isn't any new information at this point," said Giles, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"However," said Wesley, picking up from where Giles left off, "we do have several volumes that I managed to procure, and we may have something to offer when we've gone through them?" 

"Good. That's good. Okay, get to the research guys; I'm counting on you. Angel? Faith? Gunn? Up for some patrol with the recruits?" 

"Hell yeah," said Gunn pushing away from the wall. "I was _not_ built for research." 

"Amen," agreed Faith with a wide smile. "I'm just itching to get down and kick some," while Angel silently made his way with them to the door. 

Buffy smiled, and headed down to the basement to get the girls. This was going to be hell of a learning experience for the potentials. This was her best idea, ever. 

---

Patrol with the potentials had been a bad idea, Buffy noted to herself as she staked one of the vampires that had appeared out of nowhere. It's not that they were out-numbered, but the ratio of experienced fighters to vampires was pretty hairy, and having to keep an eye out on the girls was really starting to distract her. 

"Gunn! Faith!" she called, giving an approaching vampire a roundhouse kick. "Get the girls out of here!" 

They both nodded, and started ushering the girls away from the fight, while Buffy jumped deeper into the fray with Angel. Patrol had been her worst idea _ever_. 

---

Spike heard her before she saw her. All quips and punches, she was like nothing else in the world. No way Faith could ever measure up, at least in his eyes. 

As he approached the clearing, he could see that she and the grand poof were making short work of half a dozen vamps, and fairing well. So, instead of joining in, he took the time to appreciate the poetry and fluidity of her movements. Bloody perfection, she was. 

Now it was two against one for the Slayer, while Angel tackled one himself. Nice odds. He strolled over to where Buffy was getting into a tight spot, but he didn't worry. Instead, he simply hopped up onto a nearby headstone, to watch her work. 

"Need a hand, love?" 

"Nah," said Buffy between punches, "I got this." And she smiled at him, she actually smiled as she back-flipped and staked a vampire on her landing. She spun around to finish of the second, only to face Angel, through a pile of falling dust. 

"Buffy! Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes giving her the once over. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, dusting herself off. "I had that one, you didn't have to worry." 

"Well I did. And why didn't you think to help, dammit?" Angel growled, spinning around to face Spike. "You just sat there and watched her take on both vampires!" 

"What?" Spike replied indignantly, waving his hands in mock surrender. "She was _handling_ it! Said so herself!' "She was going two against one, Spike!" 

"Yeah, _she_ was. And _she_ could handle it. Oh, and _she_ is standing right here," said Buffy, putting her hands on her hips. God, men! It didn't even matter if they weren't human - they were all the same. It was getting _old_. 

"Buffy, I was just concerned," said Angel wincing slightly. He knew that pose. It meant trouble, and he really couldn't go back to L.A in an ashtray. Cordelia would kill him. "I didn't mean anything by it," he added, with the hopeful "don't kill me" face he managed to perfect after years of sharing an office with Cordy. His foot-in-mouth disease was going to get him in an awfully large amount of trouble, if he wasn't careful. 

"I know," sighed Buffy. "But I've been doing this for long enough, I know my chances. Spike knows too, he's patrolled with me enough. You've got to trust us, k?" 

"Well, I do trust _you_, so I won't be so presumptuous next time, promise," Angel said, with a crooked smile. 

"Good," said Buffy, returning the gesture and ignoring the implied dig at Spike. "Why don't you go and check on Faith and Gunn? They're probably dying, stuck with the girls for this long?" 

"Sure," Angel said with a nod. He gave a brief glare at Spike, before disappearing behind is billowing coat, and into the darkness. 

"Bastard did always know how to make a good exit," sighed Spike, hopping down from the headstone. Damn. He was alone, with one part of the ultimate love. This was not how he had planned his evening. 

"Tell me about it," snorted Buffy, remembering a similar sight, only a few years before. "So, are you two gonna be this petty the whole time he's here? Or does it wear off after a couple of days?" 

"It's a permanent thing, I'm afraid. Though, I'm pretty sure you already knew that, didn't ya?" replied Spike, with a tilt of his head. Why was she being so pleasant and…chipper? It had the feel of cushioning. Like bad news was coming, and she didn't want him to go completely barmy. 

"Yeah, I did," Buffy, laughed. "C'mon. Walk with me for a bit." 

"Where we going, exactly?" asked Spike as he jumped into step alongside her. 

"Nowhere, just thought we could both use a couple of minutes away from it all." 

"You're not wrong about that, Slayer. Not wrong at all. In fact, I was thinking of moving out for a while. Make the homestead a little more lighter in mood?" 

Buffy stopped in her tracks. What the hell? 

"Nu-uh, I'm not buying it. Why now? You haven't cared about bothering the potentials…or Xander, before. And I'm sure you'd like a chance to needle Angel and Giles a little more. I don't get it." 

Spike shrugged and kicked at the dirt, concentrating on the little pile he was digging up with his toe. How could he put it, without sounding like a complete prat? No matter what he said, he might come across as a jealous ex-lover. Pissed off at the old boyfriend moving back into his territory. Only, it wasn't his territory anymore, was it? And he had to face that. Hell, he was facing that, and this new and improved Buffy was just making it harder. 

"S'not that. I just figured it would be easier on everyone if I weren't there for a while. I know you asked me to stay, and I know you expect me to…" 

"Be taken for granted?" Buffy asked, her brow furrowing. 

"What? No. I just…what?" asked the confused vampire, stopping to stare at Buffy. What the hell was she going on about now? 

"I've taken you for granted. It sort of hit me, while you were gone." 

The _what_ now? Was she admitting to being a cold-hearted cow? This was all very confusing to him. 

"But I let you…" 

"Oh God, no. Do _not_ get all apologetic on me. I've got this great speech in my head, very noble and stuff. Just lemmie get it out, okay?" At Spike's confused nod, she started walking again, and continued. 

"You're a very important part of the team, and you should know that. Well, you probably do, because you're cocky like that, but that's not what I mean. I just...Oh God, I forgot _everything_ I was going to say. I just want you to know that going to L.A. is appreciated, and sticking around means a lot to me. Well, to all of us." 

"Um, thanks?" he said, being at a total loss for words. 

"No problem," replied Buffy, giving Spike a hesitant pat on the back. "Good to have you back. Oh look, vampires!" she called out, thankful for the distraction. 


End file.
